I lost my heart, mind, sleep and ten other things

Parenting, like marriage, is one of the areas that many fantasize about and have unrealistic expectations of. I want to tender my confession as being one of those who expected to sail through both but realized that it is involves less of self, and more of others.

Clearly my expectations were not met, and shock is definitely not the adjective I’d use to describe my feelings when I realized this. The inspiration for this post came from a generally insignificant incident in the family bathroom. Yes! We have a single bathroom for my three kids and I, insanity IS the word! And, mine is highly at stake…

Nonetheless, I managed to drag myself off to the communal bathroom to brush my teeth and hopefully wake up thereafter, and found the cap of the toothpaste gone and the paste hardened and impenetrable! Now, this would have been written off, as one of ‘the joys of motherhood’ if it wasn’t something I have had to do on a daily basis for the past 5 years. It only dawned on me then, that the toothpaste might never have a lid again after being opened! My frugal alter ego must accept that the budget must always allow funds for more toothpaste!

This caused me to calculate most of the losses I am gonna have to ACCEPT and ACKNOWLEDGE about being a mother, this excludes the loss of my heart, mind and sleep!

My lost privileges:

  • Drinking and finishing my cup of coffee, without forgetting about it because I have to stop a fight; forgot where I left it or ran to wipe a face!
  • Eating and enjoying a meal without having to get up and help with one or the other.
  • Wearing make-up without having to explain, WHY!
  • Reading a book which no one has scribbled in!
  • Receiving guests without having to whirl through the house to remove toys, books,etc.
  • Having a conversation on the phone without SOMEONE asking whom I am talking to.
  • Take a long leisurely bath with no interruption.
  • My pre-baby figure
  • Finding out who pinched the gum from my bag!
  • Television remote control!

I might as well add that this list is but a drop in the bucket, it is infinitely endless, but without my musketeers my life would be dull and empty!

Disclaimer: Any grammatical or other errors are due to loss of sound mind and sleep!

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Are you a problem solving parent?

There is a world of difference between a person who has a big problem and a person who makes a problem big.– John Maxwell
Our perception of what constitutes as a problem, is more often than never, exaggerated. A constant headache is soon escalated to a brain tumor, based on nothing other than our own diagnosis. How many other times haven’t we allowed small issues to become life issues. Yet, we can all bear witness to times when we genuinely felt like crying about something that happened, but can now retell in laughter!
Such are the woes of people and slightly more demanding for parents, who have to think on behalf of our children! That often distinguishes us from the rest of the human species…
The world calls it your gut feeling, I call it my spirit being. The  voice or prompting which lets you know whether something or someone has good intentions towards you or your loved ones.
How do you deal with it?
Grab your phone to call or text  someone?
Start panicking and create a scene?
Allow your mind to conjure up the worst case scenario?
We might think all of the above applies when you’re a parent, but there are better ways to deal with challenges.
This has been my sure fire way of coping with almost eight years of single parenting and being far from family. I also have my ‘crazy cycle’ moments on occasion, however  this is what I know works for everything; from nightmares to a broken down car.
Image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos
Dealing with challenges beyond your control:
* Pray, an honest powerful prayer from your fear or pain.
* Acknowledge your limitations, but stay open to the limitless power of God.
* Unpack the problem in order to determine its merit.
* Think it through before sharing it with anyone.
* Let it go and trust that the correct guidance or help will come
* Pray intentionally for patience and wisdom
* Realise that experiencing difficulty is not a reflection on you as a person, but rather a right of passage to growth.
* Remember: Nothing lasts forever!
Going through these motions of problem solving often creates opportunities for godly wisdom to fill an anxious heart and mind.
Share how you deal with inevitable life challenges.