The woman in the mirror

I always review my progress, as a parent, on a quarterly basis and I must say I sucked the past four months. Don’t get me wrong, I am NOT about to belittle myself, it is my assessment of what went wrong!

I am proud of being a single mom of three, pulling a full time teaching position, entrepreneur, parent representative of a school governing body and aunt,those are the relationships and areas that require the most from me and lately there just hasn’t been enough of me to go around. My forty-something year old self just needs an additional 12 hours added to my day in order to be a better version of my fabulous real self!

I love my kids dearly and am fiercely protective of them, but my overtired self has really made it painfully impossible to express that. So how bad has been, you might wonder.

As bad as:

  • Snapping at my already children
  • Bad mouthing their dad for not pitching to pick them up
  • Threatening to have the dogs impounded
  • Screaming and shouting 24/7
  • Slacking on preparing good nutritious meals

The worst is that I really just want to forget about being late for work again and drop happy kids off at school, and drive off to my mornings only job and be there waiting when school dismisses. My desire to be more available for my children is destroying the results of what I am already doing! Now, that is ‘mommy bashing’ par excellence!

How do I convince myself that whatever I am doing right now is my best, without comparing myself to any other mother- single, married, co-parenting, SAHM or all other forms of mothering?

I shall acknowledge that :

  • I am doing the job of two parents
  • I step up to the plate when required
  • I am a woman and mother of substance
  • Without my efforts my children’s world would be poorer 
  • I am doing my best, albeit imperfectly

I long to pledge to myself that I will no longer aspire to be a perfect mother, because she is the figment of my and many others’ imagination. She does not exist and demonizing of self, is not going to improve my performance as much as loving myself and acknowledging my works-as good- can potentially do.

I will from now on, aspire to:

  • Hug instead of snap!
  • Laugh rather than frown!
  • Sing instead of shout!
  • Pray before complaining!
  • Dance in the eye of the storm!

The woman in my mirror deserves love, my support, my compassion, and to be acknowledged by me as a QUEEN!


Lovemade Brown Bread Roll Recipe

I was compelled to come up with bread rolls, after running out of bread for the umpteenth time!

Truth be told I hastily threw the dry ingredients in a bowl and only remembered that I should’ve added some oil! But here goes…

4 cups cake flour
2 cups brown bread flour
10g yeast (sachet)
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 liter warm water
2 tablespoons oil

1. Place all dry ingredients in a deep bowl (TUPPERWARE absolute MUST) and whisk with a fork or by hand to mix and incorporate air.

2. Make a well in the centre and pour half of the water and mix lightly, by hand, adding more water as it gets absorbed.

3. Work swiftly but lightly, until all the water has been incorporated and a soft, but not runny dough is formed.

4. Knead for 3-5 minutes and cover with fitted lid.

5. Leave to prove till the lid POPS off!

6. Knead and pour oil onto your hands to incorporated into dough. Leave yo prove.

7. Preheat your oven on 70 degrees Celsius. Prepare a pan and spread with butter/ margarine.

8. The lid should’ve popped a second time! Make equal sized balls, and place close together on the prepared pan.

9. Place in oven and leave to rise till double in size.

10. Remove, cover and keep in a warm place. Increase oven heat up 170 degrees Celsius.

11. Bake till brown and sounds hollow when tapped, baking time 20-25 minutes. Yields about 15 buns.

12. Delicious and filling!

Versatile puff pastry

Frozen puff pastry has really become one of my favourite stock pile items. I seldom buy less than 10 at a time. It is versatile and easy to use, and you can fill it with almost anything.

As a lunch box filler it is more than amazing. My kids almost always come home with reports about comments made byb their friends about their eatables.

My favourite fillings are:
* Viennas wrapped in pastry
* Cheese and fried bacon
* Canned pie apples sprinkled with cinnamon sugar
* Custard filling
* Canned tuna and mayo
* Egg and mayo
* Chicken and mayo

The trick lies in your presentation, to avoid monotony and predictability I add one or more unusual items. Adding pickled cucumber to the tuna/ chicken mayo mix or red/ green peppers or adding finely grated carrot/ butternut. It adds color and is ultimately healthy. My favourite however must be apple added to any of the mayo mixes.

The best advise I can give a busy mom, is stock up on frozen puff pastry and let your imagination go! Your kids are bound to enjoy the unusual flavours and appreciate the effort.

  • Peace for life

    The thought of peace for my birthday was born from whispering a prayer, “during a tired but can’t sleep rendezvous” ; two days before my 43rd birthday.
    I prayed for peace about
    * choices and decisions I made in the past, am making in the present and will make in the future
    * Raising my kids
    * My health
    * My future
    * My children’s future
    * My dreams
    * My finances
    * My family
    * Growing older
    * The woman I am and own
    * My relationships
    * My earthly and spiritual journey
    * My destiny
    * Everything that broke my heart
    * The dreams and desires I never verbalised and might never fulfill
    * The times I could not gather my pieces after falling
    * The times I gave up prematurely
    * The times I held on too long
    * I did not like or love myself
    * The times I was more merciless than my worst critics
    * The times I didn’t celebrate myself
    * For not listening to the Holy Spirit guiding me
    * For allowing envy and jealousy take a hold of my heart
    * Rejecting good people to please fake ones
    * Allowing fear of failure to paralyse me
    The time is right and ripe to love ME with all my perfect imperfections.